I was at a new mother and toddler group this week and got chatting to a child minder, an older lady, with kids now at the latter stages of secondary school. She was very kind and offered me lots of information about local groups for kids. Towards the end of our conversation she said, ‘you look like you’re doing really well, you have two kids, and look young!’
Her comment took me by surprise. Firstly, because she seemed to really mean it. I felt flattered. I took her kindness as utterly genuine. I guess I was younger than most of the mums there on that particular day, although at 30, I’m far from being a ‘young mum.’ I am not sure what made her think or say this.
My mind flashed back to leaving my house. Late as usual and trying hard not to get ratty with Truly, who was bumbling along. The massive trail of destruction left behind me that is my house, when I am trying to get myself and two kids out in the morning.
Doing well?
This was not how I used to live. After the birth of my second daughter I recall saying to the health visitor that the one thing I was really struggling with was keeping my house tidy while looking after my newborn and toddler. (I like a very clean and orderly house-at least I used to.) She told me I had to lower my standards. Now I believe that perfection is not possible with two kids in tow.
I guess I am doing well. After my first daughter was born I felt scared to walk around the block with her in the buggy in case…. She cried!
At a pregnancy yoga class I attended, the tutor prepared us by repeating the
phrase ‘labour is an act of surrender.’ I have learned that in lots of ways, motherhood
is too. I may not don my killer high heels very much, and I certainly do not
dress anywhere near as immaculately as I used to. I even leave the house without my mascara on
sometimes, rather than poke myself in the eye because I am in too much of a
rush to do it. But I am a whole lot happier
in my (slightly wobblier) skin.
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